Complete calculation. Otto von Bismarck.

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Complete calculation. Otto von Bismarck.

Otto von Bismarck often regretted that one day he accidently revealed the fact that he understood Russian to the Russian emperor. Who knew how much interesting information he could learn if he had been more accurate at that meeting!

It was a Russian student Alekseev from The Petersburg University, who taught Otto von Bismarck Russian. The teacher took quite a lot of money for time, one and a half ruble, but he guaranteed that he could teach any foreigner to understand Russian and even fluently speak the language after thirty two lessons.

At lessons Otto von Bismarck met his teacher wearing a home dressing gown and soft slippers, he also covered the hairless patch on his head with black silk skullcap. They were often interrupted while studying as a little bear was getting under the feet, but they never drew out the funny animal out of the room. In the beginning of each lesson Bismarck offered his student to smoke a cigar, and Alekseev always took it but anyway he never smoked at their lessons.

Bismarck turned out to be a very studious student. Very soon he was able to speak Russian, moreover he could translate Turgenev’s texts into German quite good and read Herzen’s “Bell”. There were always some books and newspapers in Russian on his table.

There often started quite candid conversation about politics, diplomacy and the future order in Europe between the teacher and the student. Mostly because the fact that Alekseev’s main occupation was not teaching but studying jurisdiction. Once, when talking to Alekseev the Prussian ambassador honestly said one thing about Russia and its people:

– Oh! Your country evidently has great future! Russian people are naturally great and very original. As you Russian say, you are slow to harness and very fast at driving!

But when it came down to mentioning Austria, Bismarck got rather angry.

– Austria is just trampled past! – he said. – That is a stinking dead body that prevents Prussia from entering its future! I guess that German people can hardly call themselves German, all of them are Bavarian, Saxon, Prussian or Hanoverian.. It is Prussia which called for pile those all in one big bag, shake it down and then tie it up so that nobody could ran away!

That kind of conversation was very useful and instructive for both sides; moreover the student managed to keep his promise and finished the program in thirty two lessons. But when the lessons were over Bismarck handed the sum consisting in thirty two rubles in a grand manner.

– Mister Bismarck! – the student was shocked. – But we agreed for one and a half rubles for one lesson!

– Of course, – agreed the ambassador. – As because of your forgetfulness, natural for Russian people, you forgot to take off the cost of cigars from the whole sum.

German mercenary spirit, there’s nothing for it!..